The Secret of Ella and Micha Chapter 16

Current daytimeEllaI dont love why Im in here. I started to drag buck the street with so such(prenominal) adrenaline lashing through me it mat up like my chest was going to explode. The rain was pouring atomic reactor(p) and wholly I could think ab appear was getting as far remote from Michas house as possible, except my mind caught up with me and I displumeed myself dressing some(prenominal)how.My frock drip on the bath populate floor, which is stock-still stained release from her blood. I sit down and hug my knees to my chest, gross(a) at the bathtub.Some topic died in me when I found her, further Im not authoritative what. Maybe my soul. That night, Id been so determined to go to that stupid party that I left her at the house alone, even though my dad had left me in shoot of her.There was one simple rule uphold an eye on mom. And I couldnt even follow it.Ella, what are you doing in here? Micha observes me from the doorway, his c alludee state and hair drenc hed with rain.I cuddle my knees against me and squeeze my look shut. I saw you go to your bed fashion with Naomi.Okay he sounds confused. Why do you sound upset, though?It doesnt matter, I say. None of this matters.Of course it matters. He sits down beside me and drapes his arm all everyplace his knees. Otherwise you wouldnt be in here.Youre right, it does matter. I run my finger between the cracks in the tile. I dont pauperization you to be with Naomi. contain a minute. Do you think I hooked up with her?Isnt that what you normally do when you take a girl backwards to your room?Naomi and I were and talking, he mutters quietly. And I take take awaynt taken a girl back to my room in months.Hearing him say that makes me tang better and I start to fount the inevitable. I in additionshie run all I indirect request and try to shut myself down, solely my feelings for Micha leave alone always be there they control me.You know, you s motorcared the shit out of me that night, he says, staring at the bathtub. The way you looked when I found you I dont ever desire to bump that look in your eye again that emptiness.It was my fault. I let it fall off my chest and crash into the world. I was supposed to gull her that night, but I was selfish and thought that stupid party was more important.He turns my head toward him and looks me in the eyes, so I atomic number 50 pull through an eye on how much he means what he says. Youre not selfish. You were seventeen and you do a mistake just like every other seventeen-year-old out there does.She died because of my mistake. The words scratch at my throat. If I would have just stayed home like I was supposed to hence she wouldnt be dead.You have to let this go, he says, his contribution strained. You cant keep blaming yourself for something that was out of your hands.I appetite I could have a redo. disunite sting the corners of my eyes. I want to do it over again.He covers my hand with his. I think you sus ceptibility need to talk to someone close this. Otherwise its going to resort you forever.I suck the separate back and wiggle my hand away from his. You think Im going crazy.He shifts in front of me onto his knees, takes my face in his hands, and forces me to look at him. Look at me. No one thinks youre crazy. Youre strong, but youve been through a lot of shit and you might need some dish up working through it.I think Im more fucked up than you realize, I say. I cant even look in a reverberate anymore.That does sound crazy. He tucks my hair out of my face and takes a impregnable look at me. Youre beautiful.I shake my head slowly. Its not that. Its something else. wish well if I look in the mirror I have to see whats really inside.Whats inside isnt bad.Yes, it is. If you knew the truth, you wouldnt want to be with me.He assesses me closely and therefore helps me to my feet, pulling me up by the arms.What are you doing? I ask as he steers me by the get ups to the mirror on th e medicine cabinet. I creep at the girl staring back at me big blue jet eyes, wet hair stuck to her head, and mascara running down her face. I begin to recoil, but he holds me in place and forces me to look at myself.His aqua eyes lock on my reflection. When I saw you that night, I felt tout ensemble helpless. I love being able to help you, whether its if you fell off the roof and needed to go to the hospital or you needed help climbing up a tree. It has always been my thing since we were kids and I loved every second of it, but that night there was absolutely nada I could do to help you. I never want to feel that way again. He takes a deep breath and lets it out gradually. I love you, Ella May and nothing will ever change that. You can push me away run away and I will still love you.Hot tears pour out of my eyes and down my cheeks. My shoulders start to shake as I turn to him and bury my face into his chest. His arms circle around my waist and he lifts me up. My arms and legs make around him like he is my lifeline, and maybe he is.He carries me into my room as I continue to sob and he lies down with me on the bed. Its dark and the music from next door drifts through the open window. Tears spill continuously to downpour from my eyes, and I place my hand over his chest, feeling the beat of his heart. I keep crying years of tears that have been bottled up until last my eyes run dry.Then I breathe again.MichaI wake up early in daybreak in a state of panic. Ella is fast asleep in my arms, her eyes swollen from crying, and shes clinging onto me like Im everything to her. Its what Ive always wanted, but something feels unresolved within me and I need to fix it before I get in too deep with her. She needs someone strong and until I face the thing plaguing me, I cant be that for her.But I will be.Carefully, I chevvy her head from my shoulder and slip out of her room. Her dads snoring on the couch, theres a broken bottle on the kitchen floor, and the back doo r is wide open. I lock up and then jump the fence. My yard is trashed with beer bottles and cigarette butts and my moms car is parked in the driveway.The inside looks just as bad and I feel like a dick for leaving it for my mom to keen up, but if I dont go right now, Ill chicken out. So I hurry to my room, where Ethans passed out in my bed with his arms and legs hanging over the side. He still has on the clothes from last night and the unanimous room stinks of stale booze and cigarettes.I stuff some clothes into a bag and collect my keys from the dresser.Are you going somewhere? Ethan sits up from the bed, rubbing his eyes.I swing the bag over my shoulder. Im going on a little road trip. Ill be back in a few days.He gapes at me. By yourself?Yeah, this is something I have to do by myself.He considers something. Youre going to see your father, arent you?I let out a loud breath. Yeah man, but dont say anything, okay?Ethan nods. Alright, if thats what you want me to do.It is. I open t he door. And hey, help my mom clean up and keep an eye on Ella.He falls back into the bed. Alright man, will do.I grab my wallet and leave the room, wondering who Im going to be when I come back.EllaI wake up to an empty bed, but try to stay calm. I text Micha and ask him where he is because Im sure theres an explanation.Im sure its nothing bad, I say, but theres an unsettling feeling squeezing inside me.I slip on a pair of shorts and a tank top and go downstairs to head to his house, but dean, Lila, and a girl with short black hair are sitting at the kitchen table with coffee mugs in front of them. Theres a box of doughnuts on the counter and someones taken out the garbage and cleaned the dishes.Oh my God, its so nice to finally meet you. The girl with black hair stands up and meets me in the spirit of the kitchen.Likewise, I guess I shake her extended hand, glancing at Lila and then Dean.Dean gets up and brushes crumbs off the front of his button down shirt. Ella, this is my gro om-to-be, Caroline.My lip forms an O. Shes not how I pictured her short and slender, with tan skin and shoulder length wavy hair. She has a vest on over a t-shirt and a pair of black jeans. Theres a butterfly tattoo on her wrist and her ears have multiple piercings. I pictured her more prim and proper, by the way my brother showed up looking.Deans told me so much about you, she says with a genuine smile. And Im finally glad to have a face to attach to the stories hes been telling me.My eyes wander to Dean and my eyebrows kink up. Stories, huh? Id love to hear these stories.She doesnt miss a beat. Like how you like to wind and how you love cars. He also said you attend UNLV, which is so assuredness because thats where I went.I thought you said you didnt know where I was, I say to Dean.He shifts uneasily. Dad told me formerly during like a quintuple minute conversation. But anyway, its not a big deal, Ella, for me to tell my fiance about my little sister.It kind of is. My voice c arries an underlying meaning that however he will understand. All things considering.Dean hisses through clenched teeth. Ella, can you not start this shit. Its too early in the morning.Caroline glances from Dean to me then back to Dean. You werent lying. You guys relationship is a little intense.Removing myself from the conversation, I pull my hair into a ponytail and pour myself a transfuse of coffee. Breathing in the aroma, I stare out the window, noting that Michas car isnt next door.Where the hell is he? I mutter to myself.Suddenly, Im being yanked by the arm out of the room.Hey, I protest as hot coffee spills onto my groundwork. What is your problem?Look. Dean says once were in the living room. I didnt invite her here. She just showed up to awe me.So you dont want her here? I take a imbibe of my coffee, hiding my amusement.He rubs the back of his neck tensely. Theres just stuff she doesnt know about me yet and I dont think Im ready to tell her.You told her about me.But not dad. And not mom either.I set the cup down on the table and wipe up the coffee from my foot with a towel. Okay, so what do you want to do about it?Could you hang out with her for the day, while I pack up the rest of my room? he asks. And then I can get her out of here by tomorrow morning.You should just tell her the truth. I toss the towel on the couch. Avoiding the problem will only catch up with you.He pulls an annoyed face. Youre one to talk.I know and Im working on it. My voice shakes a little and I clear it.His face is turning red. Would you interest just keep her busy?I guess. I shrug. But where do you want me to take her?For a drive around the lake or something, he says. I dont care just as long as you keep her away from here.I collect my coffee and proceed for the kitchen, while he heads for the stairs to finish packing.And Ella, he calls out from the stairway You look antithetical today happier.I give him a small smile, and then I turn away, wondering what looks differe nt.